Not another Kingdom Hearts sequel!
by 177223
Summary: My first Kingdom Hearts fic, please R&R! It's not just another sequel! Although it was written in that state of euphoria I had after I first beat the game... Chapter four is up... after a very long time... Please R&R!
1. Recap and Poker Games

Hey everybody! I'm Linzy, and this is my first Kingdom Hearts fanfic. I started it right after I beat the game. Flame it if you want. I'm certainly not going to stop writing or anything.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't, okay! I don't!  
  
So I'll warn you now, this is another one of those Kingdom Hearts sequel fics, but it's kinda different. I think. I dunno, I've only read like 3 of those sequel thingymabobbers. So, um, read it now.  
  
Kingdom Hearts 2: But you've never seen it like this... (uh, I hope)  
  
Last time we saw our heroes/villains/whatever...  
  
Someplace dark...  
Ansem: DARKNESS!!! Oh drat, light. *disappears*  
  
On the Destiny Islands  
Kairi: Oh look! It's a picture! On the wall of this secret place cave thing! Sora sure can't draw...  
  
Kingdom Hearts...  
Riku: So whadda we do now?  
Mickey: I dunno. I was kidding when I told Donald and Goofy to close the door.  
Riku: Wanna play poker? *pulls out deck of cards*  
Mickey: 'Kay.  
*Heartless join in and they get a real game going*  
  
At the Hollow Bastion library...  
Squall: So what are you guys doing this weekend?  
Yuffie: Well, I was planning on making Jello...  
Cid: Look who I found! *presents Cloud*  
Aerith: Hey! It's Cloud!  
  
At Aladdin's house...  
Aladdin and Jasmine: *making out*  
Abu: *scarred for life*  
  
At Olympus Coliseum  
Sephiroth: I'm Lance Bass! Twice the fangirls!  
  
At Traverse Town  
Gepetto: MWA HA HA! *holds up Pinnochio* I HAVE CREATED LIFE!  
  
And with our heroes...  
Sora, Donald, and Goofy: *chasing Pluto* DAMN DOG!  
  
And that's the recap. Now for the true fic. Later...  
  
Sora, Donald, and Goofy: *finally catch Pluto*  
Sora: *reading letter* Dear Sora, Donald, and Goofy,  
  
Finally, you caught Pluto. Anyway, we're locked in Kingdom Hearts, which is kinda cool because we just got a copy of the game Kingdom Hearts here. Riku amuses himself by battling his game self as Sora and losing on purpose. He is also angry that you left Kairi alone with Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka. But he might forgive you if you loan him some munny to pay poker.  
  
Anyway, we found another door. We have no clue where it leads but we're leaving after Riku beats the Hades Cup. He keeps losing to Cloud and Leon. So we'll see ya if we see ya.  
  
--King Mickey  
  
P.S. Sora, Riku says to send that munny ASAP.  
Goofy: Wow, Sora, I didn't know you could read!  
  
In Kingdom Hearts...  
Mickey: You know, once you finally beat Leon and Cloud, you have to play Hades and the Rock Titan.  
Riku: Figure it'll be the same if I just beat Sephiroth instead?  
Mickey: *shrugs*  
Riku: *stomps Sephiroth*  
Sephiroth: Bye bye bye! *disappears* (A/N: yeah, I know it's harder to beat Sephiroth than that because I've tried and it didn't work... anyway, congrats to those of you who have.)  
Mickey: Good, can we go now?  
Riku: Sure! *runs toward door, unlocks it*  
Mickey: Where'd you get that Keyblade?  
Riku: Sora dropped it.  
Mickey: Oh. *walks through door*  
  
And with our heroes...  
Sora: What the hell- WHERE'S MY KEYBLADE?!?!  
  
And back at Kingdom Hearts, but not exactly...  
Riku: *walks through door* Pinch me I'm dreaming...  
Mickey: *tackles Riku*  
Riku: *doesn't notice*  
Mickey: *smacks forehead* I hate being short... So where are we?  
Riku: Home! On the Destiny Islands!  
Mickey: Are you sure? These paintings are creepy...*looks around Secret Place* Hey, that one looks like Sora!  
Riku: Yeah, Sora and Kairi... *pause* Kairi! *runs out of secret place like maniac*  
Mickey: O.o *follows him*  
Riku: *spots Kairi walking on the beach* Kairi!  
Kairi: *turns around* Riku!  
*They run towards each other, smack into each other, fall over on the sand*  
*laugh track*  
Mickey: *falls over anime-style* Wow, this fic just gets stupider and stupider...  
Wakka: Eugepae! *flies by on a pony*  
Mickey: See?  
  
A/N: That's the end of chapter one! And yeah, it was short.  
The Eugepae thing. Eugepae is Latin for "hooray," I think, so that's that. I've already started chapter 2. It's interesting. Moreso than this chapter anyway. So if you didn't like this chapter, try the next one or something. And if you did like this chapter, review. Or if you didn't. Whatever.  
  
REVIEW! 


	2. Plot Device and Mickey at the Destiny Is...

Look! It's chapter two! And it's even shorter than chapter one!  
BTW, I've already written chapter 3 and about half of chapter 4. I just don't have time to type them. Lotsa stuff goin on. Ooh, and I got cornrows for no apparent reason. But they'll probably fall out by Tuesday or Wednesday. *sighs*  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned KH, there would already be a sequel! And it probably wouldn't look too much like this.  
  
Chapter 2!!!  
  
In Traverse Town...  
Suddenly, everyone but Riku and Kairi and everybody else who was on the Destiny Islands was in the middle of the 1st district in Traverse Town.  
Donald: How... did we get here?  
ChipnDale: Plot Device! *reveals Gummi ship*  
Everyone else: O.o  
ChipnDale: See! The gummi's name is Plot Device!  
Everyone: *silence*  
ChipnDale: Tough crowd. *disappear*  
Goofy: So... now what?  
Sora: Well... I have been meaning to get back to the Destiny Islands...  
Goofy: O.o but I thought we were looking for King Mickey!  
Donald: Yeah! And he's not on the Destiny Islands!  
  
On the Destiny Islands...  
Mickey: Why, cruel world?  
Ansem: But... the world would be a lot less cruel if we had... *announcer style voice* MORE DARKNESS! Which can be yours if you win this game! Now what's behind door number 1?  
Mickey: O.o...  
Ansem: *opens door, gets sucked into End of the World* COOL! I'm a major part of the plot again! *sets Heartless out on worlds*  
Mickey: O.o...  
  
Back at Traverse Town  
Sora: Yeah, I see your point. There's no way he'd be on the Destiny Islands.  
  
At the Destiny Islands  
Mickey: *smacks forehead* Well, maybe Goofy will suggest to look here...  
  
Traverse Town  
Goofy: Does the item shop sell donuts?  
  
Destiny Islands  
Mickey: *pause* Oh yeah. All of them are getting fired.  
8554: How do you even know what's going on?  
Mickey: *evil grin*  
8554: O.o...  
  
Back at Traverse Town (and the end of the "Mickey on the Destiny Islands" jokes)  
Sora: So... why exactly are we back here?  
8554: Ooh! Ooh! I know! Pick me!  
Sora: Oh... kay...  
8554: You are back here, because the author (myself), using a plot device... *motions to ChipnDale's Gummi ship*  
Everyone: *silence*  
8554: hmm... they are a tough crowd... Anyway, I brought you back here so I could write a fanfic!  
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOO... *sob*  
*pause*  
8554: You done?  
Everyone: *nods*  
8554: So... this is...  
Ansem: *announcer voice* Kingdom Hearts 2!  
Sora: *attacks Ansem*  
Ansem: *dies*  
8554: O.o... And... um... anyhow, since there are about a bazillion fics out there called Kingdom Hearts 2, we need to be different. Any ideas?  
Donald: Whaddya mean, we? I'm not going along with another crazy authoress who really only wants to eliminate all Disney characters and replace them with either Final Fantasy characters or OC's and I personally won't suffer through another of these pathetic fics!  
8554: *shoots him* One Disney char down, 52 to go...  
Everyone: O.o...  
8554: You lot are useless. *disappears*  
  
end chapter 2! Which is shorter than chapter 1!  
  
Anyway, I've already finished chapter three and most of chapter 4. Chappy 3 is interesting, and contains a romance scene, a butcher knife, and Tidus musing about how Riku is hotter than Sora. So, um, if you're not scared off yet, that's that. REVIEW!!! 


	3. Romance and Butcher Knives

I have a LOOOOOONNNNNNNNG list of things to upload, yet somehow I find myself typing up another chapter of this... Probably just because it's short. My songfics are gonna take DAYS to type...  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Back on the Destiny Islands... a not really romance scene.....  
  
Kairi: *sitting on the dock next to Riku* So... Riku... I heard about what you did.  
  
Riku: Really? You mean how I tracked you down and searched to the end of the world to find you and ended up finding your heart even though I lost mine to the darkness?  
  
Kairi: Actually I was thinking how you tried to kill Sora.  
  
Riku: Oh.  
  
Kairi: But I guess that other stuff's cool too.  
  
Riku: Really?  
  
Kairi: *thinks about it* No, not really. But you're still my friend anyway! *hugs Riku*  
  
Riku: *being hugged* Bet you wish I was Sora right now, huh?  
  
Kairi: *sighs* Yeah.  
  
Riku: You really miss him, don't you?  
  
Kairi: *sighs* Yeah.  
  
Riku: You like him better, don't you?  
  
Kairi: *sighs* Yeah.  
  
- That hangs in the air for a minute... -  
  
*silence*  
  
Riku: Okay, you can stop hugging me now.  
  
Kairi: Oh... sorry. *runs off*  
  
Riku: *sighs, falls back onto dock, lands at wrong angle, falls into ocean* This is just not my day.  
  
Elsewhere...  
  
Mickey: *sighs* *muses about being in such a sad, poorly written fic*  
  
Selphie: Hi, mousie guy!  
  
Mickey: *wonders why the authoress loves to torture him*  
  
Selphie: Because you're a Disney character, silly mousie!  
  
Mickey: *nodding* *stops* Hey, wait a minute...  
  
Selphie: I can read minds! As of now!  
  
Mickey: um... no you can't...  
  
Selphie: *pauses* *sobs* SHUDDAP! You're killing the MOMENT! *pulls out butcher knife, glares*  
  
Mickey: O.o Why me?  
  
Yet somewhere else...  
  
Kairi: *sitting in chair sobbing*  
  
Tidus: *walks in, sits in chair next to Kairi* Hey Kairi, you okay? Wanna talk about it?  
  
Kairi: Oh, hi Tidus. *wipes eyes*  
  
Tidus: Let's have a chat, girl to girl.  
  
Kairi: *pause* But you're not a-  
  
Tidus: So you and Riku. You love him but you don't want to hurt Sora.  
  
Kairi: No, it's the other way arou-  
  
Tidus: Riku like you a lot. I think Sora doesn't like you as much as Riku. I mean, c'mon, have you seen the way he *looks* at you?  
  
Kairi: Tidus, what are you talkin-  
  
Tidus: If I had to choose, personally, I'd pick Riku because he's such a hottie.  
  
Kairi: *pause* Tidus, you're really starting to freak me out...  
  
Tidus: Besides, Sora's not even here. He'd never know... just give Riku one night... I'm sure he'd-  
  
Kairi: OMG! Tidus, what are you on!?! *leaves*  
  
-door slams-  
  
Tidus: All right, let me know how it turns out!  
  
Back to the first elsewhere...  
  
Selphie: And this is for baby bunnies! *hacks butcher knife into wall* And this is for butterflies! *hacks butcher knife into wall*  
  
Mickey: Um... Selphie...  
  
Selphie: And THIS is for MOUSIES!!! *hacks butcher knife into wall*  
  
Mickey: *gulp*  
  
So that's the end of chapter three! These things are getting shorter... This took like five minutes to type, whereas my songfic "Wanna Be" took like 2 hours. Go read that, if you're into YuGiOh, but otherwise, just review this. Oh yeah, and Tidus has a perfectly good explanation for acting gay. I'm gonna figure it out soon. I promise.  
  
Til then!  
  
--linz 


	4. English Class and Escape from the Destin...

See!  I knew I'd eventually getting around to typing up some of this stuff!  I think I may have finished this chapter sometime in April...  *sweatdrop*  This is English class from last year.  That's horrible.  I'd even forgotten this fic was in script form.  Urgh.

Disclaimer:  I still don't own Kingdom Hearts!  Imagine!

8554: *staring blankly at paper while sitting in English class*  Writer's block, writer's block... *looks up at readers*  Hello!  I have a really bad case of writer's block.  I dunno what to do.

Ansem: Didn't I release the Heartless in chapter 2?

8554: Oh yeah... thanks, Ansem!

Ansem:  You're welcome.  *pause*  DARKNESS!  *disappears*

Sora: *runs in, Keyblade drawn* Alright, where's Ansem?  I'm sick of him coming back from the dead...

8554: You just missed him.  And I thought Riku had your keyblade, where'd you get that one?

Sora: Riku had my keyblade?  Good, cause I stole it from him anyway.

Destiny Islands

Riku:  What the – where's my other keyblade?

Wherever we were at first... my English class apparently, O.o'

8554: But he's on the Destiny Islands and you're in Traverse Town.  Well, that's where you're supposed to be...

Sora: And Ansem's supposed to be dead.  Not like- *pause* Did you say Riku was on the Destiny Islands?  

8554: Yeah.  Why?

Sora: With Kairi?

8554: Um, yeah.

Sora: But... with Kairi?

8554: *rolls eyes, zaps Sora back to Traverse Town*

Kairi: *runs in, Keyblade drawn* Alright, where's Sora?

8554: *sighs*  Just what I need.  Another running gag.  Although I really do wonder where you got a keyblade...

Kairi: Oh, I found it near Selphie's house!

Selphie's house...

Selphie: *standing over Mickey with butcher knife*

Mickey: Selphie... can't we just talk this over... Preferably when I have my keyblade...

Selphie: *laughs, grins, puts up butcher knife* Silly mousie lost his keys!

Mickey: *sweatdrop*

Back in English class...

8554: Anyway, Kairi, I just sent Sora back to Traverse Town.  You oughtta go find him.  He misses you, I think.

Kairi: Really?

8554: He seemed rather... distraught... when he found out Riku was with you on the Destiny Islands.

Kairi: *grins*

8554: So go back.  *zaps Kairi back to Destiny Islands*

Mrs. C.: LINZY!  Stop whatever you're doing and PAY ATTENTION!

8554: Um, oops.

Destiny Islands... Riku's house...

Kairi: *flings open door* RIKU!  We have to go!

Riku: *yawns, doesn't get up because was asleep* Wha...

Kairi: NOW, Riku!  *brandishes keyblade*

Riku: AHH! *jumps out of bed, allows fangirls to imagine ducky pajamas or whatever* Don't hurt me!  *pause*  Where'd the keyblade come from?

Kairi: COME ON!  *waves keyblade at Riku*

Riku: *walks slowly toward the door* 

Kairi: *jumps at him, snarls*

Riku: *runs out the door and in the general direction of...*

...Selphie's house.

Riku: *banging on door*  SELPHIE!  Let me in!

Mickey: *runs out door* SHH!  Riku, you'll wake her up!  We have to get out of here!

Kairi: *in distance* RIKU!

Riku and Mickey: *run for lives*

The beach

Mickey: We have to get off this island.

Riku: B-but... this is my home!

Mickey: *points in distance, where Selphie and Kairi can be clearly seen approaching with assorted weaponry*

Riku: Point.  Let's go.  *jumps on raft, grabs Mickey, sails away*

Kairi and Selphie: *shouting frantically from shore, waving spears*

Riku and Mickey: O.o...

The middle of the ocean.

Mickey: Are we lost?

Riku: Of course not!

Mickey: We're lost.

Riku: Okay... maybe a little...

Mickey: We're... really lost.

Riku: Pretty much.

Mickey: Ah.

Okay, this is boring.  I'm just gonna make them hit something.

Riku and Mickey: *land on creepy looking island*

Now when I say "creepy looking island," I mean...

DARK with lots of BATS flying around and killing stuff with a huge STORM floating around and a BLACK SAND beach with a giant VOLCANO spewing molten rock onto the JAGGED CLIFFS and a giant EVIL-LOOKING CASTLE and so I just wanted to clarify the "creepy looking" aspect of the "creepy looking island."

Mickey:  *steps off raft* Wow, this island looks creepy...

Riku: *looks around* Every so often, there is a fangirl that is too wild to be sustained by the limits of fanfiction... they write thousands of stories, create character shrines... have séances to pull the spirits of the characters from the game or book or movie... Mickey, we've found the ISLAND OF LOST FANGIRLS!!!

Mickey: O.o... How do you figure that?  
Riku: *motions to giant "ISLAND OF LOST FANGIRLS!!!" sign flashing neon pink*

Mickey:  Oh.

End chapter four!  Which hopefully was longer than some of the rest.  And I know I was writing this chapter when the Linkin Park cd came out March 15th, so that's bad...

Maybe I'll hurry up and post chapter five, for you people.  

Or maybe not.  Review!  


End file.
